You guessed it! And for those who didn’t, it’s my first running diary. I’m sure this can work for rugby league. Well, pretty sure.
Compelling game tonight. Some good story lines, a secretly feisty rivalry, and lots of big names on display...for the Broncos at least. 5 things to watch for tonight:
- A full 80 minutes from the Broncos. Put it this way, Milhouse closes better then the Broncos at this point.
- Hindmarsh. Hindmarsh was awkwardly called out on “NRL on FOX” this week after missing the 40 man NSW Origin squad. When he was interviewed about it he seemed as concerned about missing selection as A Current Affair are about being ethical. I almost get the feeling he doesn’t want to be play rep footy...oh, wait, if he didn’t want to play he would have been selected (see Lyon, Jamie).
- Star Brisbane prospect Palmer Wapau. Hey, what better way to kill the confidence of your 20 year old 115kg prospect (Taylor) then to drop him the week after he plays his best game? Or was this something to do with that South’s contract offer? Either way, you stay classy Broncos!
- Any sign, and I mean ANY, of a Eels fan smiling.
- A constructive and objective Ben Ikin comment. This could be about anything, as long as it doesn’t involve the phrase “he’s a great guy” or “I know player x”.
7.38: I’m a marketing student and I can’t even begin to comprehend the CGU insurance ads. What are they going for there? Who relates to that? Am I supposed to believe that CGU is outdated? Do they think that is what’s “cool” among young people? Do old people find that funny? If so, I hope I never get old.
7.39: Anzac Speech—is there anything cooler then dead silence at a packed stadium? Silence...props to Suncorp for keeping silent....silence....Why does the Australian army hat always have a strap 2 sizes too small? I’m all for tradition, but a whole army sporting double chins...what are we going for there?
7.41: Close up of Lockyer. He looks focused, but he could just be confused about the hat strap thing like I was. Not sure...either way, a lot to prove tonight. If the Broncos didn’t play EVERY Friday night, I’d say he shines on this platform, or something corny like that.
7.43: AND WE’RE OFF!!! Fuifui “fat Ludacris” Moimoi drops it on a lacklustre kick return to begin the game. What’s-the-matta-Parramatta? Wait, I remember: You just gave away your franchise half, your coach is Daniel Anderson, and you are playing the QLD origin backline. Your season is crumbling faster then Kleenmaid.
7.44: Weak goal line defence allows the Broncs to stumble—with the conviction of a drunken hobo mind you—over the line for a try. Comes off of an awkward reverse 2nd man play. Vossy waits no time to plug TAB SportsBet...at least finish the call. I put the over/under for Sportsbets plugs at 4 and take the over. 6-0 Broncos.
7.47: Wait, NO TRY. Ruled a no try for obstruction. I thought it was a bureaucratic interpretation but then again teams should know they wont get the call when they run behind each other, so don’t run the play. 0-0.
7.48: Parramatta straight up the other end. Chris Keating’s first touch—He looks just like the foot soldier who gets his face pummelled by Edward Norton Fight Club. Hayne fumbles a sure try only meters out.
7.49: Folau’s first touch. He dances across and backwards from one side of the field to the other. Thats why they pay him the big bucks. They really need to get him involved more this season.
7.50: Broncs get a scrum feed on the 10 and immediately go right and wide quick to Hodges. Parramatta play the role of a pimp when they drift but don’t go forward and help Hodges score. Classic Hodges try—why does it always seem like he does everything in slow motion?
7.52: Shot of Parramatta grouped in the in goal. Get used to that site. Hindmarsh sporting a haircut that is best described somewhere between Mel Gibson’s in Braveheart and Bon Jovie’s in the late 80s. 6-0 Broncos.
7.54: Ikin drones on about something. I’ll just put it out there now, Ikin is the worst colour analyst in sports, not just the NRL, sports. Brick in Anchor Man provided more in depth comments.
7.55: Hunt comes within inches of scoring off an inside ball from Lockyer. I’m loving the resurgence of the inside ball in league. I don’t know where it went or why it left but I’m glad it’s back. Lockyer looks good so far—attacking the line with conviction, got the team moving forward, finishing off sets. Somewhere Scott Prince takes a swig.
7.57: Vossy tells us Hunt is in his 6th year and he is 22. He has a title, a Origin title, an Australian cap, a sexual assault charge; what else is there to achieve for him in the NRL? What other industry does this happen in? The porn industry maybe. I think there needs to be more emphasis put on winning championships. Premierships don’t weight heavily enough in player evaluations. Johns was one of the greatest but he still only one 2 titles. I feel like the greatest of all time should have won more.
7.58: Another set is finished with a bomb from Parramatta. They’re producing more bombs than Brian McFadden at this point.
8.00: Chris Keating sparks a awkward Jarryd Hayne 2008 origin-esque try. There is somthing special about this milky bar kid.
8.02: Wait, NO TRY: Burt defiantly pushed Hodges. A frustration play if I ever saw one. But to be fair Hodges dived worse then Drogba on that one.
8.04: Quick hands put Folau up the side line. Hunt taken out in back play. NO CARDS shown. Even in the NFL you couldn’t take a player like that. This is a fast break kind of game; end-to-end stuff.
805 Hunt carves up Parra defence with 2 deadly right foot steps. To be fair no one in the league would have stopped that. No one.
8.08: High shot off the kickoff. Penalty against Parra. When it rains it pours.
8.08: Vossy’s second TAB SportsBet plug. Only three more! You stay classy channel 9!
8.10: Keating puts one over the sideline. Wapau is set to debut. Should I stand or sit? He is big ... looks lost standing at 5/8 ... WAIT ... Locker gives him a inside ball!!! ... no, he didn’t score on his first touch. To continue the trend of sensationalising everything about this guy, we may as well deem his career over now.
8.13: Wallace with a smart grubber to the corner for a flying Winterstein. Henjac celebrates with a clap that is best described somewhere between the clap the Queen would award the Rolling Stones and those seen at the conclusion of a Andre Rieu concert.
I like Winterstein; he is in the Darius Boyd mould. But for my writings sake, I’m nicknaming him Chocolate ICE. Back to my “the NRL needs trades theory”, Choco Ice is another good example. The Broncs do a great job of churning out these quality role playing wingers and they always bolt when they hit the market. Where is the compensation?
8.17: Joel Clinton interchange. His career has fallen faster then Holly Valance’s. Now he is just a reminder of how dumb the NRL is for not having a quality veteran exemption. Petero should have finished his career with the Broncos.
8.20: Ikin informs us that Wapau and Thaiday are communicating in some sort of North QLD lingo ... I believe they call it, English.
8.21: Fat Ludacris just bowled over Hunt, Lomu style. Matt Johns insinuates that Hunt thought he was in Tokyo .... still trying to work out what he was getting at here ... nothing yet ... let’s move on.
8.22: MATT KEATING ... why does Vossy feel compelled to say the Keating brothers’ whole name? They don’t look anything alike and this isn’t radio.
8.23: CHRIS Keating with ANOTHER bomb ... Hayne comes down with it., but is foiled by Wallace before he hits the ground. The Marlon Brando of rugby league is surprisingly devastating in the air. I don’t remember him having a aerial performance like this before ... oh wait, he is going against Steve “white men can’t jump” Michaels.
8.27: CHRIS KEATING is running Parramatta well. Causing problems for the Broncs defense. Parramatta have been in this game, they just make too many fundamental errors.
8.31: Halftime whistle. 16-0. Vossy labels it as a highly entertaining half of football. Broncs do everything they can to not walk through the Cheerleader cone tunnel, I’v never understood why players do this.
HALFTIME:
- Broncs look sharp. You know they are hot when they played spread and seem to be creating a lot of space on the fringes. I can see Hodges and Folau running riot in the second half.
- Parra doesn’t look great but they have had their chances. Should be confident but Im guessing Daniel Anderson will do his best to kill any of that. Hindmarsh hasn’t been a factor ... he seems to have given up on the game. If the NRL had trades he would be a great veteran pickup for a playoff contender going into the second half of the season. I could see him being rejuvenated at the Titans or Souths.
8.40: AD TIME ... KFC advertises their “Family Fun Bucket”. I feel sick just thinking of that bucket of grease. We are blessed with a CGU ad set in a deli with some insecure lady acting like she is a black teenager wrapping in the 90s ... I realise they are trying to get younger (I think), but I don’t really want my insurance company to be cool. Cool people don’t traditionally do well with money.
8.45: 2nd Half underway. Vossy informs us that Parra won the last half of the 1st half but the score is 16-0. Parra’s season in a nutshell.
8.49: Sharp short-side play from the Broncs. Lockyer pulled down mms from the line, followed by Hindmarsh dropping a knee WWE style on Lockyer’s head. He looked like he had practiced that ... hmm, the hair ... the seemingly distant disposition ... I think Hindmarsh is training to be a wrestler. What would his name be? It would have to be something to do with his ass wouldn’t it?
8.51: Nick Kenny strolls in to the end zone after Parra short-side D splits faster than a deadbeat dad. The Eel’s goal line defence is terrible; its one thing to beaten by good opposition but they are just soft. Other areas seem pretty solid except for the unforced errors. Fundamentals and creativity seem to be their biggest problems. All well known symptoms of the Daniel Anderson disease.
8.56: Wile-silly ... why-silly ... let’s just call him Silly. Anyway, he scored off a bomb into the end zone over guess who .. time is running out.. Steve “lead weight” Michaels. That left side is a real worry. They are young, small, and not that physical. When the Broncos play a NRL calibre team it could be a real issue. What’s the matter Parrra-matta? 22-4.
9.00: Vossy plugs ... do I need to finish ... only 1 more!
9.01: Quick strike down the Bronco right. Came from a soft tackle from Lockyer on Mateo. Lockyer’s terrible defensive form hasn’t been mentioned by any one, even with all this Origin controversy. It’s a real concern. At this point he is a statue; he changes direction slower than the Catholic Church.
9.03: Parra penalty. Broncs are panicking. The No. 1 thing to watch for tonight. I need to see Lockyer assert himself in the next 5 minutes. Parra play out a dangerous set but decide to pass to ... nobody on the last tackle. Talking about things on my list, not only are Eels fans not smiling, they seem to be focusing on talking about trucks a lot.
9.06: oooooooow...nasty headclash sends Silly off for the night. If he returns the NRL needs to be court marshalled. Boxers can’t fight for months after they get knocked out, but a NRL player can come back after he gets his head taped? Yet another thing that drives me crazy about the NRL.
9.07: Johns makes a tidy but effective Harrington joke ... Thank god Ikin didn’t feel compelled to match Johns. We could have had another Craig McLachlan on our hands.
9.08: Broncs score of a sharp backline play that sends Hunt untouched to score. Yeh they had an extra man on the field but they were evenly matched up on that right side, just bad reads from Parra defence. 28-4. A 24 point lead, that’s the magic number. No one comes back from that with less then a half to go.
9.09: Vossy makes another desperate plea for Hunt to stay away from the evil Japanese rugby giant. Hey NRL, raise your salary cap, and don’t embarrass yourself on national TV by begging 22 year olds not to leave you.
9.16: Broncs coasting now. Johns preaches about Lockyer’s solid performance, labelling him the best first receiver in the competition. He must have read my column.
9.17: Ikin informs us that Jarryd “marlon” Hayne is a big guy, “117 kg or something like that”. Hard hitting analysis there.
9.19: Choco Ice blows a great grubber opportunity from Wallace. Wallace’s Lockyer imitation is almost perfect. I expect him to finish the job by getting a one blade cut and Hving Dave Taylor sit on his voice box. People say Bennett screwed the Broncs by getting rid of Stagg and Ennis before he left, but he set them up for the next 6 to 8 years with Wallace.
9.21: Hayne blows another possible try from a great Keating end zone kick. Guess which side he kicked too.
9.23: Broncs work Parra right side shiort-side defence AGAIN, Hunt scores from some quick hands. Hunts got 3 now. The NRL needs a collective fan celebratory tradition for this. Like when hockey fans toss a octopus on the ice. 34-8.
9.27: Broncs win a scrum against the feed. That’s it Parramatta. You just hit rock bottom. You are at about the 4/5ths mark of Trainspotting. Hindmarsh looks like he is going to kill between 6 and 11 of his teammates before the game ends.
9.28: Folau scores off of a smart short ball / unders line on the ... you guessed it, right hand short side. 40-8. Tight ship the NRL are running here. When you can televise a foreseeable blowout of a marquee team on national TV, you got do it.
931. Full time. Thank god that’s over. Broncs go to top of ladder. Professional performance from the Broncs. Parrramatta has NO self confidence. Like I predicted, Daniel Anderson delivered in his halftime mission. What can I say, he’s the best at what he does.
9.35: Hunt is named MOM. He speaks like I write notes for this monologue; no connecting words. Wally Lewis asks him if he is content to keep playing the way he is... apparently he is...really? Scoring a hat rick, you want to keep that up? Lucky we have sideline reporters.
9.40: Shots of the Bronco dressing room. A trainer throws out a hundred bill and then begins the club song complete with the traditional playing of the wheelie bin ... no better way to kick off ANZAC celebrations then with a wheelie bin song.
After thoughts:
- The Eels have a lot of potential. Sure it’s fun to beat up on them but if a few things had gone the other way tonight they would have been a real threat.
- I don’t see how Wapau (the greatest player we’ve never seen) was better tonight then David Taylor would have been.
- Hunt should be the origin fullback. Slater has been secretly bad this year. Hunt wont dominate like he did tonight, but he is the most consistent player in the completion.
And we’re LIVE TAPE DELAYED from Telstra Stadium .... hmm ... I’m heading to bed, I think I’ll leave this one till tomorrow. Call it a 9 hour silence for ANZAC day.
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