Australia 20, New Zealand 34

I do care about rugby league on an international level?

I didn’t think I did. No one I was with thought they did. It shocked me. It shocked us. Sure, I have always caught the games, hoped we would prevail, and proverbially shifted towards the edge of my seat when the tests were close. But cared! Actually cared, like I do when I watch the Socceroos or the Wallabies. I didn’t know I did. I didn’t know you couldn’t know.

Of course this realization was not nearly as confusing as what transpired in the second half of the game. Starting with Slater turning into a mix of the ‘02 Justin Hodges and the ‘07 Jarryd Hayne, spiraling when Thurston secretly lathered his hands with soap and/or butter, and ending with Monaghan’s decision to deploy a ‘clothes hanger off the ropes’ special on Lance Hohaia, the last quarter of the game provided the definitive argument for the existence of karma.

The saddest thing is, as a result, I won’t be able to watch a sports movie the same ever again. In all classic sports movies we are reminded that ‘anything is possible’ when the proverbial David defeats the proverbial Goliath. Last night, for the first time in a while, Australia played the role of Goliath. All week the media pumped Goliath with editorial steroids: questioning how a blowout in the final would be good for the game, claiming this team as one of the greatest test sides ever, and even questioning the heart of the Kiwis. The result: Goliath grew bigger and more vulnerable, David found his rock, and suddenly a script was written.

As is traditional, David beat Goliath; New Zealand was the better team on the night. There is no arguing that. They withstood an early flurry, they got in the heads of the Aussie backs, and they exploited the flaws that Wayne Bennett knew all too well. That’s why they play the game.

So why can't I watch sports movies again? Well, for the first time ever, all the fans, parents, players, and coaches of each sports movies Goliath had a face, they had feelings, they existed. i saw it in all the people around me. I was reminded that all those Alabama fans watching the bourbon bowl in The Waterboy would have been absolutely crushed when Adam Sandler threw that perfect touchdown bomb to Adam Dante as time expired. They were innocent like me. They didn’t deserve the cold serving of karma. They didn’t verbally abuse and exploit a young mentally challenged Bobby Boucher; they didn’t spit in his cooler; they didn’t steal Coach Klein’s playbook, and they didn’t ruin a small redneck pep rally. They just supported the team, like so many Australians did last night.

Despite everything: the raw serving of karma, the before-our-eyes demise of a great (Lockyer), the painful flashbacks to 2003 prompted by the English fans celebrating more than the New Zealand fans, and the pending ugliness that will ensue as the media work out who too blame, what happened—a short return to parity—is ultimately a great thing for the game of rugby league. I guarantee David Gallop was rooting for New Zealand to keep it competitive. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a boner for that entire second half……..Wait. Insinuating that the NRL commissioner will need to get his pants dry cleaned? Lets just end here.