I’m back. I really want to throw myself into writing again but I feel as though I am not meeting the needs of my small reader base.
Therefore I ask: What would you (the reader) like to see more / less?
Please email: aussiesportsfan@gmail.com
If I can establish just ONE email from ONE faithful reader who won’t go Sonny Bill on me then I will throw myself back in.
Peace.
Brisbane Sports Fan.
In the wake of the Lote “just don’t tell my wife” Tuqiri firing, and the NRL’s tumultuous year, I can’t help but wonder how much this deviant behavior really effects fans. With the way sports have evolved since the proliferation of the media, the philosophy that “all press is good press” has never seemed so true.
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We stop and stare at car wrecks, we rush to see fights when they breakout at pubs, we watch sex-tapes, we rotate our heads uncomfortably when arguments fire up at sporting events, and we can’t help but ask “were they good?” when we talk about sex. It appears, in life, we are intrigued and fascinated by the devious.
It also appears, in sports, that as they increasingly become defined by their entertainment value – otherwise known as their ability to draw attention by appearing intriguing or fascinating– the need to stay relevant in the social conscience has become the number 1 priority. Consequently, the modern athlete has blurred the line between sports figure and celebrity.
Knowing this, I can’t help but wonder; do we (fans) secretly want and need athletes to behave in the deviant manner they do? Is that why we love certain sports? And more importantly, is that how we justify the time we commit to sports?
A celebrity is a commodity valued according to their cultural power. Their power hinges on their ability to create aspiration and sell their image through commercial products. It is the combination of a diverse range of social taboos and a seemingly unreachable level of stardom that keeps the public interested. As celebrities are always depicted engaging in elicit acts with limited consequence, they appear above the law, and as a result they represent a freedom and lifestyle we as a culture crave. The further they separate themselves from society the more unique and exclusive their image appears.
The more deviant a celebrity acts the more defined their image becomes. As their identity is defined further, and the values they represent become more explicit, they evoke a stronger reaction among the public. Whether or not you like them doesn’t matter; the fact is, they become more compelling.
Take the Paris Hilton sex tape for example: there is more porn on the internet then there are people to watch it, but EVERYONE has seen the Hilton tape. The only thing that separates her from any other D-grade porn “star” is she is Paris HILTON!!! She is compelling because she lives a (financially) free life that is foreign to 99.99% of the world; a sex tape of a person like this is unique, and therefore intriguing and fascinating.
The same principle applies to sport. In Australia there are copious options when it comes to sport (like with porn). Unfortunately a person only has so much money, time, and effort they can devote (like with porn), so they are forced to choose. To choose they need to justify to themselves why they should commit to one sport over another. People do this by arguing that one sport is more interesting and compelling then another.
They use lines like “its more tactical” and “the game has cultural significance”, but the truth is they follow the leagues, teams, and players which they can form an opinion of the best. These are the people they think they know the best. Otherwise known as those who are reported on the most. And those who are reported on the most are those who are the most deviant.
Willie Mason was hated by anyone who didn’t look like a “Fat Pizza” extra, but he turned the ’04 Bulldogs and the NRL’s into the most compelling story of the year. Wendall was outspoken, way past his prime, and more one-dimensional then Sam Kekovich but he made Super Rugby and the Reds compelling. Ben Cousins is a social dropkick and way past his prime but everyone followed his return to the AFL.
The idea that sports have a greater meaning is important to fans (myself included). They strive to justify this constantly. They have to. Because if they don’t, they just dropped 150 bucks and 3 hours to watch guys run into each other or kick a piece of plastic around.
So it appears: the more deviant a player acts, the easier it becomes for a fan to justify their love of sport.
By acting deviant they are reported on more. The more exposure they create defines them further and the more arguably “compelling” they become. The more compelling a league is, the more justifiably interesting it is. The more justifiable any hobby or purchase is (whether it be traded for in time, energy, or money), the less stupid a person feels.
Fans need athletes to behave in the outlandish way they do, the same way people need Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears to get high and crash their car every six weeks. It helps justify our commitment. So the next time Andrew Symonds gets drunk, or Wendall Sailor gets high, or Karmichael Hunt bangs a 19 year old in a public toilet, somewhere deep inside you will be smiling, because your league just got that bit more interesting.
Brisbane Sports Fan
I rip on Rove a lot. Too much some would say. But I do it for the same reason the NRL drives me crazy—the wasted potential.
My argument is this: they have a week to put that show together and it’s half as good as the Tonight show (Leno edition), which mind you, was a nightly production. Rove (the show) has Ben Barber potential, unlimited resources (they are the only talk show that’s worth doing if you are promoting your new whatever in Australia), and next to no competition. They SHOULD be held accountable at a higher standard. If it wasn’t for Peter Helliar it would be borderline unwatchable.
The shows decline has mirrored the myopia that has been expressed by the NRL
At one point, in the early naught-ies, Rove was a well thought out production (Amateurism in Rugby League. There weren’t egos or threats from overseas clubs. Players were in it for the love of the game, to get better, represent their town and their state. ). Then somewhere between Belinda Emmett’s death and the hosting of “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?” things changed (After the Super League war players gradually gained too much power).
The show had a audience, it became too easy, no one was going to rip on him after the unfortunate death of his wife, he was set financially, he had a million other projects to fall back on, every threat needed to go through him to get national recognition; he had complete control and it made no difference whether he put in 50 hours a week or 20 (Like Rove got distracted by other projects, players began to understand the plethora of options they had outside of the NRL. Lazily the NRL did little to curb this. They should have been using the media to challenge players to achieve more. The problem was / is players are achieving too much too quickly. Players are contempt to have played origin and maybe a grand final. The media and the NRL should be diminishing the legacies of those who are contempt with that. They should be defining players by their career numbers. SB Williams won one premiership and was of the mind he had achieved everything he ever could in Rugby League. These guys respond to two things—money and ego. Since the NRL can’t compete financially they should be challenging their egos.)
1. Can you defend the South Sydney raffle “controversy”?
Yes.
There is nothing wrong with a raffle. In fact I think raffles should play a more prominent role in society. Everything is better when there is a raffle involved. Everyone has won a raffle at some point in there life and nothing is more exciting then the prospect of a slab of meat. I’m a willowy fellow who doesn’t eat that much and even I can fondly remember the first time I won. I love this Aussie pastime to the point that I wish my butcher would mock-raffle the meat I purchase. Even if I was the only one in the shop. All I need is a mock-ticket and a “and the winner is…”. It would make my day.
While we are on raffles: why don’t bars capitalize on this?
I’m not talking about local pubs on a Tuesday night during quiz hour. I’m talking about higher end clubs and bars on Friday and Saturday nights. If they raffled a $100 bar tab to be announced at midnight, wouldn’t that be a cash cow? Not only would you make money off what is essentially a second cover charge (who isn’t going to put in a dollar or two for a ticket, especially when people are drinking), but you would keep people at your bar because they are invested in the outcome of the raffle. I’m not saying it has staying power but if you could market it as a “% of profits go to generic charity” operation the first week and bring it back as a pure cash cow the 2nd week, you would make some money. Right?
Back to rugby league. The South’s front office aren’t dumb. They know what their place is in the NRL world and who they are in the eyes of the media and the fans. They have a defined identity as a blue collar, grass-roots, loveable loser club. And they, like all good entities market themselves exactly that way. In his book “All Marketers are Liars” Seth Godin talks about the importance of shaping your corporate message to the worldview of the targeted consumer. People consistently rework the world around them to fit their view on life because that’s how they understand the world.
The more they perpetuate the struggling local club image, the more their fans can relate to them. They are like Pete Doherty. Sure, his stakeholders could support him in his self rehabilitation but then he loses his cultural power as he loses his ability to relate to fans—the majority of Camden—and costs everybody a whole lotta money. In business and marketing you exhaust all your avenues, resources, and touch points. I think this is a savvy move by the Souths front office.
(My other nightlife idea: Purely from a prudent capitalist mindset; why don’t they sell music requests? DJs are at the point where they do more harm then good when they fuck with songs now, so why not let people pay for a choice of music. Clubs could supply a refined list to choose from and they wouldn’t have to worry about clashing styles because certain people go to certain clubs. It sounds like it wouldn’t work but I guarantee there are people dumb enough to pay for music at a club.)
2. What does Hunt’s imminent departure say about the state of the NRL?
July 02, 2009 - By Matt Marchall of the Daily Telegraph - "I've been lucky enough to have achieved a lot at a young age by playing over 100 NRL games, Test matches and State of Origin," Hunt said. "All these goals are what I set out to achieve as a 17-year-old.
I know I have achieved everything I set out to do as a 17 year old; namely, get laid, get laid, save up for a PS3, get laid, master the GO Card, and oh yeah, get laid. Although Hunt has achieved everything I have and a whole lot more (premiership, origin title, rookie of the year award, national nicknames that weren’t thought through enough, a signature body movement with a nickname even less thought through, a hot girl friend, tri-nations title, and arguably the worlds most oversized thighs) I doubt he would have mastered the GO Card.
The issue for the NRL is career perception. Hunt believes – and it’s hard logic to argue with – that he has accomplished everything worth accomplishing in the NRL. Sure the money is a huge factor but he is only 22. That money will still be there in three years if he thought he still had more to do in the NRL. What happened to wanting to win multiple titles, or set records, or inherit captaincy?
The media should pressure players into achieving more. Hunt should have been vying for a half role all along. He should want control of the team and want to prove he can win on his own with out the help of a Lockyer or a Hodges. The same way artists are post-modern in their creations, players like Hunt should constantly be thinking about their legacy.
Myopically the NRL has let itself become the National Rights league. Players with power view it as a professional right opposed to what it should be—a professional privilege. As much as leagues rely on the players as the face of their operation, the players can never be bigger then the league, but that’s what has happened to the NRL.
The NRL may not be the financial crème de la crème of the rugby world but it is the toughest Rugby League competition in the world. Apart from the Super 14, French rugby union league and the prospect of playing in the Heineken Cup, the NRL is as tough a competition that rugby players will find. They should be marketing themselves as the premier competition in the world and be looking to sign international players who want to challenge themselves. It should mean something to win in this league.
3. Name the top 5 things I would want to hear read, recited, or performed by Tonie Carroll
There is no debate. Life is just better when this guy is in the league. He is like a mellow go-happy version of Michael Crocker; almost like that Robin William’s movie Jack—just a kid inside a man’s body. I expect he has a Tree-house, he still runs everywhere he goes, he is always good for two to three fart jokes at any training session, maybe still has a bunk bed, and at least once in his career Illa’Wayne had to talk him out of a hiding spot in the playground when he got upset.
I just want to hug him and take him home; he is the Hans Moleman to my Homer Simpson. If I
could make one change however, I would suggest he don a propeller hat at all times. One of those multi-coloured ones with no brim. If anyone’s cranium and smile were made for that hat, it was his.
This list is straight off the top of my head. I should have consulted with my crack squad of stoner friends. They would be first in line to watch a video of these hypothetical Tunza events (Youtube is a great utility but its popularity is driven by 15 to 24 year old stoners who have nothing better to do but watch clips of people breaking bones and singing the lyrics of Daft Punk songs with words written on their hands. Hey, it’s not their fault. Society never accounted for any youth friendly spaces, and as a result youth have turned to digital space for recreation. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. My question is: Do we follow this youth movement or is it counter productive and post-modern? Is it promoting industrious creativity or simply supplying a new medium to rehash old ideas? I feel it’s a good thing. How else would I watch highlights of Shannon Walker burning QLD Cup players?):
A) A one-on-one interview with John Safran – that would be a LOT of wayward spit.
B) Shakespeare – he could butcher Shakespeare the same way FOX butchered the last 8 seasons of the Simpsons.
C) “One Week” by the Bare Naked Ladies – Forget the intricately threaded lyrics of the song. I would just be happy with a title and band name from Tunza (because I think that’s as far as we would get).
D) Bruno and / or Borat impersonations – if for nothing more then a “Yes Shmesh”. I think Tunza could rival Cohen for hairiest person to ever to don the Mankini.
E) Billy Jean – I had to throw it in here. The Motown performance to be specific. Its really a two-fa when you consider the dance moves and the singing. Like getting vegemite toast AND pancakes. I feel it would end badly though. He would hold the title as the only player to end his career because of a mis-executed moonwalk. Considering he is on his last legs, I feel like this would be a cool way to go out.
4. On a scale of 1 to peeing blood, how worried am I about the Broncos?
I’m one more mis-executed set away from filing a domestic abuse charge against myself. Why do I watch this team during the Origin stretch?
I know they won on Friday night but they aren’t the Broncos from seasons past. This 2009 team are like a band who has replaced their lead singer and their bassist. Sure they were huge, they play the same songs, and some of the original guys are still there, but it’s not the same.
I don’t want just Garfunkel and no Simon, the same way I don’t want just Lockyer and no defense, Wallace and no effort to create repeat sets, Hunt and no insertion of himself in the 1st receiver role, or the team and no scramble cover defense. Clinton just doesn’t shred like Petero did and Winterstein doesn’t sing like Kemp wailed. Its just not the same.
This season reminds me of the ’04 season. The Broncos had an inordinate amount of injuries, people were looking forward to the Tallis-less (and subsequently talented) era, the team didn’t really have an identity, and despite finishing 3rd on the ladder the Broncos were a class below the seasons front runners—the bad boy Bulldogs (who had Johnathan Thurston and Sonny Bill Williams on their bench), and the Rebel Alliance Roosters.
They will make the finals and push a team but they aren’t going anywhere this year. I can’t complain since they won a premiership 3 years ago but if they don’t re-sign Alex Glenn I’m calling that bikie that is out of work after his Zappia contract fell through.
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Brisbane Sports Fan
1. So is Craig Bellamy a good or bad coach?
He is a psychological tactician (and a great coach). But he is operating in an environment which really isn’t that cognitive.
On paper, Bellamy for NSW coach made sense. He was the artist who sculpted the NRL’s most recent dynasty; he new how to reign in talent and get the most out of them; he new the strengths and weaknesses of the core of the QLD side (Inglis, Slater, Folau, Johnson, and Smith) better then anyone; he game planned better then anyone; and if anyone could work out a way to beat the greatest origin side of all time, it was he who could come up with a new wrinkle to throw at them. In theory Bellamy was a no brainer.
In reality however, he is a brainer, and that’s the problem.
He knows the game better then anyone. Bellamy learned the game, first as a player under Tim Sheens and Wayne Bennett, and then as a coach under Wayne Bennett. And as a Bennett disciple he learnt that winning in professional sports means professionalism in approach, constant re-evaluation, and rethinking of the game. Consequently, to a degree unlike anyone else (even more so then Bennett), Bellamy has looked outside rugby league for answers. He was the first to commit to training his players with wrestling coaches; he adopted NFL scouting philosophies; he rethought how to build a team (the moving of Inglis to 6); he took the 2nd man play to new levels; he valued skill and athleticism over size in the forwards; and most importantly, he focused on the art of player management—over the course of a season he manages players egos better then anyone.
He used outside approaches valuing strategic breakdown and extravagant game planning to reinvent the game and stay ahead of the league. Unfortunately, what works over the course of a season, doesn’t work in the short furnace that is origin preparation. The same way Michael Jackson over-thought plastic surgery (What, too soon?), Bellamy over-thought origin.
Origin is what it is. You have the best players for ten days at a time. You isolate them (the camp). You do everything in your power to create some kind of chemistry and establish leaders in the group (QLD doesn’t have more heart then NSW, they just understand the value of chemistry. It’s why they focus so heavily on bonding sessions). And in the end it comes down who has the best players.
It seems like Bellamy focused too much on roles and tactics (In game one, in an attempt to keep Craig Wing fresh he kept him on the bench for far too long in stead of just getting his best players out there; in-between games he took shots through the media at Folau and Meninga; in game 2 he complicated thing too much by mixing up the sets and having players float around the field too much). I think he is a great coach, but in origin you need to keep things simple and that’s just not his style.
(Thoughts on the MJ DEATH: If you are the paramedic who gave him mouth to mouth, are you secretly happy about this? I know he isn’t happy he died but I mean, is he dropping it at parties in 5 years? It was in LA so those guys must get called to famous people’s aid from time-to-time. Do they secretly all dream of one of those calls? Do they tally them like fighter pilots tallied kills in WW2? I feel like I need to know more about this paramedic. I find him/her much more interesting then that pilot, Sully.)
2. Where did NSW go wrong in game 2?
Despite handling the ball worse than the PM has handled Utegate, organization was NSW’s biggest downfall. In defense and even more-so in attack, there wasn’t any direction. I blame the halves.
The forwards played relatively well in attack and wore down an athletically challenged QLD pack. They were able to roll their sets up field with quick-play-the-balls, but because neither of the halves took charge they weren’t able to capitalize on that momentum.
I loved Barrett coming into this game because I thought he would attack the line and create room for support players. That’s what he had been doing for the Sharks but he didn’t show up on Wednesday night. The only memories I have of him are 1) his forearm flying into the side of Inglis’ head, 2) him wandering around the field looking far too happy just to be there, and 3) him staring into the crowd. The only thing about Barrett that screamed savior on Wednesday night was his Baywatch-esque chap-sticked lips.
As for Wallace, his lack of assertiveness is starting to worry me. He was far too happy to let Barrett come into camp and take the reigns. He talks less then Chief Bromden. He isn’t going to the line in attack. And he is kicking poorly. Part of being a half is having the moxie and self confidence to take charge of the team, demand the ball, and deliver orders while on the field. I’m just not sure Wallace has that gene. I think you either have it or you don’t. Johns and Fittler had it. Lockyer, Prince, Orford, and Thurston have it. Wallace, I’m not sure. I think its been the biggest hole in the careers of Anasta and Barrett. They fact that they both look the part of a franchise half is both the best and worst thing that ever happened to them professionally. They look like they should be the coolest guy in a room at any one time, so people assume they have that gene, but they don’t. I would argue Cooper Cronk, Chris Sandow, and Jamie “I need to change my name to Jim or something less girly” Soward have that gene.
3. Since I spent far too long today watching the NBA Draft, would a draft work for the NRL?
Yes and no.
In theory it’s the logical step, now that the Toyota Cup is established. The exposure and marketing opportunities it offers are too good for any league to pass up. Sports league success is built on maintaining your position at the forefront of the social conscience and a draft keeps you relevant during the offseason. It creates interest, which sparks debate, which flares emotion, which engages the fan and promotes irrational activity—such as spending money on a sports league. Sports are emotionally driven and nothing sparks emotion more then debate.
The problem lies in infrastructure. The league, financially, isn’t set up to pay players who haven’t done anything at the top level yet, and they don’t have the support systems set up to nurture young guys who are in a new environment straight out of high school. The Toyota Cup teams are built with players who a regionally based. For instance: the Broncos aren’t getting players from Canberra straight out of high school and moving them north. They get them from Brisbane or Tweed Heads or Redcliff. Culturally, a draft doesn’t work. In America it works because its commonplace for an athlete to go live on campus straight out of school.
Here it’s different.
Polynesian and indigenous players create the biggest issue. Traditionally they come from a culture that emphasizes the family institution and consequently they struggle to live away from that support group. Israel Folau joined the Broncos because he wanted to be closer to his family. Preston Campbell took a reduced deal to stay on the Gold Coast and be closer to his family. Even Justin Hodges, despite years in the league found it difficult to live away from his family, to the point it ruined his career at the Roosters. In America it works because rookies sign multi-million dollar contracts and therefore have the resources to uproot there families. In the NRL, it was only a few years ago a Newcastle player had to ask his boss for work off so he could play in the finals. Eventually I think we will see a draft but there needs to be more money first.
4. Why did that supposedly “HISTORIC” origin game feel less historic than the dump I took this morning?
When you break it down, game 2 had everything you would want; A close score line, history and ego at stake, fights, controversy (the Barrett haymaker and the questionable video ref decisions), a rollercoaster debut (Williams), fast end-to-end action. It seems like it should have been fantastic but I haven’t talked to one person who thinks it will be memorable. My only explanation is sex.
This series, and in particular this game, were built up like people build up sex in their mind. Losing your virginity is really, when you look back on it, not a fun thing. It seems like the pinnacle of all life experiences (In this case the most important game in origin history), but it almost never amounts to what you imagined it to be, so anything less, no matter how great it is, seems terrible. For me it was over really fast and I was too confused to enjoy any of it … wait, what am I talking about here?
5. Was the Fittler incident really that bad?
If this happens three years ago does it attract as much attention? My feeling from everything we have been told is it’s not as bad as was reported.
Sure he knocked on the door but it wasn’t malicious. The media turned shirtless into “half naked”. He shouldn’t have been drinking in the first place but then again what else is there to do in Townsville? Those places are just big country towns. You walk into a bar (one of the few places that would be open) and it’s culturally and socially rude not to order a drink. He is going to have to resign and I think he should, but considering everyone was fine with the selection of Paul Gallen, and Anthony Watmough for origin, I can’t help but feel the media is picking and choosing its spots.
6. Why were there so many dropped balls in game 2?
The answer is two-fold: 1) ego-itis (medical definition: the inflammation of the human ego) is causing players to carry the ball loosely as they try and position themselves for an offensive posterizing (when you bowl over a tackler) and 2) the professionalization of rugby league has lead to a deterioration of fundamentals.
In Malcolm Gladwell’s newest book (Outliers) he talks about how professional hockey players are more likely to be born at certain time of year. He proves that kids born during that period are the oldest of their playing class and consequently, they are bigger and more developed physically and mentally as they have had more time to grow. Those kids tend to do better in junior leagues because they are older, which leads to more playing time and adoration, which develops them further, lands them in development camps and rep teams, and before they know it, the NHL.
It’s not a perfect example of what’s happening in rugby league in Australia because they rely on their skills more (in hockey) but there is some truth to it. Athleticism and girth have been afforded unfair value in today’s modern game. The modern game is win-now and teams don’t have time to develop players; they have to take the guys who fit there system and who can compete athletically and physically.
Physically over developed youth are dominating club and school games, and consequently the players coming out of those systems are more and more lacking in fundamental skills. Why would you practice play-the-balls or traditional tackling styles when you weigh 40kg more then anyone else on the field? I wouldn’t.
The David Williams drops were perfect examples. Both times he knocked on he engaged the tackle with ball loosely out in from of him. Williams had quick rise to success where he went straight into a premiership contending side (Melbourne) and played a test before he played origin. Conversely, Tonga – who forced the mistakes with coffee book low tackles – had a slow obstacle ridden rise to first grade. He wallowed in the depths of the Eels farm system before getting his break with the Bulldogs. He was forced to develop his skills further in order to get his break.
7. Who do you think will win tonight?
I think the Dragons will cruise: Soward is fresh, Farah is the opposite of fresh and the Tigers suck right now. What’s that Tigers fans? You didn’t know you had a short window when all your hopes rested on a guy with no shoulder and who throws his body around like bad over-enthusiastic porn actress.
The Bulldogs will come through in a tight one: the ‘dogs are automatic at home and Thurston will be rusty after drinking too much after origin.
Brisbane Sports Fan
I couldn’t resist (and I used the last of my money this week on rent, so I can’t go out). I had to do a running diary of, as channel 9 would tell you, “the most important game in Origin history”.
Really?
Origin isn’t going to disappear if (when) QLD win this game so I don’t see how it is more important than the games they played when Origin was just starting out in the early 80s. The whole game of rugby league rested on the success of those games.
FYI: I feel I have had a similar lead up to this column as what the QLD side has experienced. First I was doubtful about doing it (the QLD camp is a little worried about the lapse of concentration experienced at the end of game one); then I talked myself into it (they got into camp and realized that “hey we have 3/4 of the Australian side playing for us”); third, I woke up with a bad throat and the column was in doubt (4 of the key QLD guys woke up this morning with a stomach bug); and finally, I came through because I’m passionate about the column and my readers—all 8 of you. What, too much?
7.36pm: “And we’re LIVE (unless you live in Adelaide or Western Australia. We are trying to deter you as much as possible before we send a team your way) from the coliseum in Sydney”. A fitting name really, as there will be a slaughter witnessed tonight. By the way the Blues will play the role of the Christians.
7.38: Fatty gives an eerily quiet interview from the QLD dressing room. Why do they have to be so quiet? Will the players get distracted by Meninga going over the game plan?
7.48: Note to the NRL: the star trek appear-and-cross-your-arms bit is cool when the NFL does it, not so much when these guys do it. I would prefer the NSW side to give me a open-palm in the air shrug-of-the-shoulders. As in, “we have no idea how the hell we can win this game tonight”.
(Domestic Note: I have been making dinner in between these posts. God forbid I prepare a little before the game. Then again, I only had two weeks in between games.)
7.58: Sailor makes a impromptu appearance. I’m not into this player/ analyst hybrid that is so common these days. What’s the point? How can you be objective? I think Sailor is destined for TV but right now all he offers is a huge smile. Same goes for you Brett Kimmorley.
8.01: Gus gives us an awkward monologue while walking along the dead-ball line. I can’t help but think it’s ten times more weird for the camera man filming, because he can’t hear the emotional music playing while Gould gets more fired up. For him it’s just Gus pointing and yelling at him. Also, how did he practice for that? Did he just go down to a random primary school and begin pacing up and down the in-goal? Did he train in his tiny backyard like Eric the Eel trained in that tiny hotel swimming pool? Did he watch “Any Given Sunday” over and over again? Am I weird for wanting to know this?
8.08: Grinspoon are the pre-game crowd warmers? They seem fired up, but more in a “I hate my Mum and Dad for not buying me ALL the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was 5” kind of way. I feel like they are one of those bands whose music you can tolerate and talk yourself into enjoying if it just comes on at a party or on the radio, but you would never go out of your way to select them on your ipod.
8.10: And the QLD side runs out to … cheers? I can’t explain how disappointed I am with Blues fans right now. How corporate of you. That wall of boos they usually provide is one of the simplest joys I have all year as a QLD fan (especially when we have such a great chance to win). How dare you take that away from me! HOW DARE YOU!!!
8.12: WOW. Watch out. What’s with the anthem singer’s voice? He sounds like a guy doing a comedy sketch of a opera singer. Also, is wow an English word? Do other languages have a substitute or do they use it like we use café? And if they do, does it have a different connotation like café has? Because in France café means coffee; here it means coffee house … what? Oh, there is a game about to start.
8.14: AND WE’RE OFF … (sorry I’m trying to work out what happened on the opening kickoff) … thanks for the shitty camera angle Channel 9. Who thought that camera was a good idea? And what’s it supposed to be anyway, the homeless guys view? A cat? Was Fittler in charge of that camera, and he just got too boozed and fell over?
8.16: Tonga is checked by Hayne on his first touch. I’m not sure if I like or hate Hayne. I think I hate him because I spend 2 minutes trying to work this out ever time I watch him play. I hate his diving more than anything but he is so great at attacking and he is so versatile I can’t help but enjoy watching him.
8.18: Ahhh … this game is moving fast. How did Folau not finish that try off? He looked like he was running in slow motion. For someone who gets as much appraisal as he does he is secretly not fast. It’s why he has trouble finishing in the corners sometimes and has to put those little grubbers through. It works I know, but it doesn’t change the fact he is slow.
8.19: INGLIS over!!! He posterized Gidley on that one. Hey all you who wrote he was getting to fat, how is his speed more valuable in the modern game when his new frame allows him to that? I’m looking at you Trevor Gillmeister. Wow. Also is Gidley the most un-inspirational captain of all time? Unless Tony Zappia captained one year I was asleep I, I think so. 6-0
8.22: the Telstra crowd look and sound like they just witnessed a player take a dump on the field? Confused and a little disgusted. Buy the way who is most likely to do that? I would say Crocker, Slater, Williams, and O’Donnell would be the most likely. If we were at a party, the first three would do it as a joke or a bet and everyone would kind of be ok with it but O’Donnell would be the guy who did it on the cake and took it way too far.
8.23: Williams is crunched in a coffee book tackle from Tonga. I think the crowd was happy for like 2 seconds there. Also how does he not go with a blue beard for this one?
8.26: Hayne interception. That was lucky (for NSW) because so far the QLD side have been treating the NSW defense with the same level of compassion that Japanese soldiers in Kokoda had when they bayoneted that captured Aussie guy over and over again. What? Too soon? Well I stand by the fact it will be socially acceptable by the time people in WA and SA see the game.
8.27: Apparently the NSW left side defense didn’t get the up-an-in msg. I guess Bellamy didn’t get around to it. I mean he did have to spend a lot of time looking angry and intense for photographers on the sidelines at blues camp. You know, because he is a psychological tactician. It’s not easy to come up with ways to sell out your ex-players (see Folau, Israel).
8.32: FOLAU does his best Karmichael Hunt impression to break some questionable defense and stroll over under the posts off of another Williams mistake. A mistake which came off another great Tonga tackle. I’m not a coach but isn’t the first thing you learn, not to hit with the shoulder you are carrying the ball with. This is verging on Hodges ’02 debut here. 12-0
8.34: Shot of Bellamy in the coach’s box: he looks like he bet against the Globetrotters. “The Washington generals are the ones who always win, right?”
(Wait, maybe he bet on the Broncos? Now I just feel bad.)
8.37: The first well strung together move the NSW team has put together leads to a short bust by David “please oh please oh please don’t pass to me” Williams up the right hand sideline. I think Inglis walked to catch him on that one. And for his trouble Barrett punched him in side of the face, from behind mind you. I know Origin is tough but that was dumb. How does he not get time in the bin for that? That was more deliberate than the Kim Kardashian sex tape.
8.41: LOCKYER is gift wrapped a try by poor play from the NSW ruck. I think Gus is one more Williams drop from finding Bellamy and punching him in the face. 18-0
8.45: Thurston works the ball up field though his forwards. He has taken ownership of this team tonight. He used to be the Robin to Lockyer’s Batman, but now he is Superman. Lockyer hasn’t been bad, but the forwards are killing themselves trying to cover his spots in defense and he isn’t really playing a huge role on the offensive end. If QLD weren’t so dominant that they could afford to have him on the field like a on-field-coach I would bet on this being his last series.
8.46: HAYNE!!! Does he not know he is playing for NSW? He is supposed to look lost and have doused his hands in soap before the game. Hayne is playing amazing this year, if he played for any team with the tiniest bet of marketing prowess he would be a rich man. To be fair that was a terrible pass from Slater. Eerily similar to the kind of complacent plays QLD made in the 2nd half of game one. Not a good sign for QLD fans. Also, Hayne couldn’t have got a pair of blue boots for this game? Really? 18-6
8.50: ANOTHER mistake from NSW, followed by a QLD kick that bounces off the goal post. Rugby league at its finest lady’s and gentlemen.
8.53: First scuffle for the night. Wasn’t really anything in it—just a feeler. Really? The refs can’t have a feeling for the situation there. When stuff like that breaks out (which the NRL want to happen by the way), they should just set a scrum on the spot or reset it like they do when a player gets held up. QLD didn’t deserve a penalty then. And as a QLD fan I hate the idea of getting O’Donnell fired up. I recall him getting pissed off in round 6 game against the Sharks, and lets just say it didn’t end well for the Sharks. (I know the sharks have had a few good weeks but come-on, they suck. I think they should be forced to change there stadium moniker from “shark tank” to “shallow bay” because that’s where all the lame gummy teeth sharks who pose no real threat live.)
8.56: HARRISON scores … wait … NO TRY. Hmmm, can we get a visual of David Gallop please? … oh, he isn’t in his box? Where is he?
8.57: REAL FIGHT! REAL FIGHT! Was the guy who denied Crocker’s visa a QLD fan? Origin, the NRL, and life in general is just better when Michael Crocker is in it. Good call by the refs to keep him on the field. And yes that WAS different from the Barrett one because it was front on.
9.01: HAYNE scores after he set up Gidley with a great inside ball. Rabs sounds like he is about to have a heart attack. Hayne is carrying this team more than Paul Rudd in “I love you, man”. 18-10
9.02: Benefit of the doubt, really? How is Hayne’s burrow more conclusive than the Harrison try? … What’s that? Someone just found the Bill Harrigan tied up in a brooms closet. (I joke but that was definitely a try. Smart play by Hayne. I wonder if he officially doesn’t trust the rest of the team by this point. Maybe he just wanted to keep the ball as far away from David “I’m so glad I didn’t dye my beard blue because I would have looked ten times dumber” Williams as possible.)
Halftime: Thank-god. NSW needs a talk with Bellamy, you know, to kill their rising confidence and remind them that they have no chance of winning. He should start with Hayne. Maybe he should just have them watch the trailer for “My Sister’s Keeper”.
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A few notes:
Well there is your new TVC campaign channel 9: “Origin 3. The QLD maroons vs the worst team in NSW origin history”
NSW:
1) They need to cut back on simple mistakes, shoulder high tackles, and passes to David Williams.
2) Someone needs to step up and organize this team. Someone needs to tell Wallace he doesn’t have to raise his hand before he speaks and Barrett needs to stop staring at his entourage in the crowd. Boy do they miss Craig Wing. Can’t they have him out there on crutches just to yell orders and organize the team. How would this not be better? QLD is doing it with Darren Lockyer.
3) They need to go through the middle of the park more and get Hayne more involved. Hannet is on one leg and about to pass out, Petero isn’t on the field, and Crocker would fight his own mum at this point. How do you not try and bait him into repeat sets or penalties?
QLD:
1) They need to utilize there kicking game more in the second half and just keep the Blues pinned in there own half.
2) I expect Thurston to be the man of the match, and therefore I expect him to not prove me wrong by having a big second half.
3) Finally, how has there not been a bounty put on Barrett yet? You can’t let him get away with that Inglis shot. It’s the principle of the thing. The booth is usually pretty good at identifying this stuff but no one said a word.
(Note: Fatty just used the term intestinal fortitude. Combine that with: Jarred Hayne leading the NSW side; QLD going for a fourth straight Origin title; And coaches asking players for permission to drink and then fining themselves. I think this is the beginning of the end.)
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9.28: Well, there has been two turnovers from dropped ball in four minutes of play. How has no one mentioned the deterioration of basic skill that is plaguing the NRL at the moment? At some point you have to take more care of the ball.
9.33: The entire NSW fan base are quiet every time Gidley touches the ball. Sadly, It’s not because they are in amour, it’s because they are praying he doesn’t fuck up. Talk about inspiration. This game feels like the difference is 28 instead of 8. If this were cricket Lockyer would have played through without a thought.
9.35: Rabs just used the word soft to describe the NSW performance for the 749th time tonight. Not sure if he meant soft as in “I hurt myself playing touch” or soft as in “telling your friends you make love, not have sex”.
9.36: A Hayne-esque tippy-toe up the sideline from the wolf-boy leads to a terrible pass and a Cameron Smith elbow to the head of Peter Wallace. I almost threw up a bit, and grinned at the same time(I hate having Broncos guys in NSW team). That was straight out of the Rey Mysterio handbook. The booth called it as an accident but to be fair it was questionable. Two more of those and we may be even for the Barrett haymaker.
9.41: Rabs just told Gus not to elbow him in head when he so “passionately” rants. Did they script that before hand? Was Rabs really pissed? I get the feeling Rabs has been wanting to punch Gould in the face for like10 years now. If that’s true and he has just been bottling up his anger, that cant be good. Every year I get more convinced he is going to die in the booth.
9.47: DAVID “Thank-god I made up for that Folau try” WILLIAMS muscles over for a try after capitalizing on some lackluster effort from the QLD side in their red zone. They look like they lost interest 15 minutes ago, which would be understandable if they were more than 4 points ahead. How does Lockyer not take charge right now? 18-14
9.50: Gus keeps ranting about how the QLD team is tired. Why are they tired? Surely they made less tackles in the first half? They are supposed to be super-athletic.
9.52: What the fuck Steve Price? They got away with that one but the so called “king of charge-downs” nearly created a repeat set at a crucial point of the game, for no reason. And everyone congratulated him on his effort. Am I the only one who thinks that is the dumbest tactic in the world, especially when you have the back three the Maroons do. Let them kick. Id rather take my chances with their only aerial threat—Hayne. Seriously, it’s like working at a café and being the king of spilling coffee. WTF!!!
9.55: Another great tackle from Tonga. I love him. He never tries to do too much, just plays his part. I think that is Folau’s biggest problem at this point in his career. He has been touted as the future and as a result, he tries to do too much at times. Surely there is a way to get from Folau to Tonga without knee surgery.
10.00: It’s getting late. Actual txt I just got from the Sydney Sports Fan “Williams for NSW captain”. I guess anything would be better than Gidley at this point. Note to Gidley: When fans are calling for the guy who I described as having a “Hodges-esque” start to their origin career, you aren’t doing a good job.
10.04: QLD attacking in there most important set of the game. I don’t know what it is but watching them, they just look like they are going to wrap this game up. It’s like when you see someone try and toss some rubbish in a public bin and you just know they are going to rim it off the side. You don’t know why you know, you just do.
10.05: Hannett with an ALL-TIME tackle under the posts to force a fumble which is recovered by Cameron smith to take the game. If that happens three years ago (you remember that time, back when NSW used to win) it has the same lasting effect as the famous Slater try. That was a fantastic tackle and body slam. I can’t believe no one mentioned it. 22-14
Final Whistle: History is made with a 24-14 QLD victory. Did that feel like you were watching history there? I feel like I should have a semi-hard on when I watch history. That was like I just saw Pauline Hanson take her top off. I’m guessing that’s not the response the NRL were looking for.
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After thoughts:
1. What’s up with Lockyer’s eyes? Does he have pink eye? Is that what the mysterious “bug” everyone caught this morning was? And if it was, how did that happen? Pre-origin orgy gone wrong would be high on my list.
2. Gidley’s face is somewhere between “trying to work out a algebra problem” and “my girlfriend who I was only dating because she is hot and I have no long term plans with just told me she is pregnant”. Has anyone been less inspirational? Even the
Is there a worst player of the match award? That would have to be called the Daniel Wagon award, right? No one was the worst player on a field at any given moment more then him.
3. The Blues were in this game after Inglis was taken out. I know you want to fall back on the “well this is the best team ever and it should be tainted because a few of your guys shouldn’t be playing for QLD anyway” reasoning, but you can’t NSW fans. Take Inglis out (and that’s what you did by the way), and this game was pretty even. If Wing had played and the team was even “I can’t get a job or wake up early enough to go to class but I can still manage to grow and sell weed” organized they might have won.
They couldn’t organize themselves, which lead to panic, and a 14-2 turnover ratio at one point. In my questions column last week I talked about how NSW needed to speed the game up if they wanted to win. They did that with quick play-the-balls but they didn’t have anyone darting. And because they weren’t organized the first receiver had no one set to run lines or act as decoy. The QLD side in comparison, took far more time between tackles to set themselves up, gave Thurston a plethora of options, and just worked on building pressure.
4. This would have been a blow out if Inglis doesn’t get carted off. He was in one of those “im taking this game over” moods, where he ends the night with a hat-trick.
5. Post game shot of the NSW team: they all have the look a guy has when their girl friend tells them that her friend just got dumped. They can see she is really upset but they don’t care because they either a) totally understand why the friend got dumped, or b) they can’t remember the friend she is talking about, so they just feign a “oh that sucks, what a shame” face. In comparison the QLD team really looked like they cared in their post game war-cry (then again, maybe they are just happy because they know they are getting laid tonight). I don’t know how you change this cultural problem the Blues have, but I would start with Bellamy. He is a great coach over the length of a season but he doesn’t seem inspirational, which is what you need in a three game series. Des Haggler seems like he would spark a fire. Put him and Orford in the side for the third game and who knows.
I’m glad we could share this bit of history together. Anyone who has a question for the weekly NRL mailbag should send it along. I’m hoping to have that column up before Friday Night football. Thanks for reading.
Brisbane Sports Fan
He will sign with team X. He won’t sign with team X. Team Y has made an offer. He has committed to Team Z. Team X has verbally committed to a hair dye and ice-cream clause, with a guitar-hero incentive. He is still undecided. The O’Connor sweepstakes have taken more twists and turns than Utegate. (Utegate? Really? We couldn’t have come up with our own political cover-up themed moniker?)
But to be fair, it’s worth it. The kid is a prodigy. Fans should be speculating. Marketers should be salivating. Teams should be lining up to acquire his services. In fact, teams should be doing more than lining up. They should be wining and dining him, having hookers and family guy box sets delivered to his hotel room, contracting sponsors to design egotistical signature shoes with his name on them, cutting mock videos of him celebrating championships in their team colours. Nothing should be out of the question. NOTHING!!!
O’Connor’s value cannot be overstated. He represents everything a team is looking for in a franchise guy (I don’t think he will sign long term, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is a marketer’s dream). He is a modern day Candide, both in his play and his persona. He is good looking; he is young (Fans need to grow with players, like they did with the Friends gang or the Brady Bunch kids); he is coherent when he speaks; he is level headed (there was one Gold Coast incident but nothing to be worried about); and most importantly, he is a great player who rises to the occasion (I want to know if his decision making ability and vision translate into other areas of his life. What are his UNO skills like? Is he good at paintball? Does he ruin movies because he works out the plot and ending 20 minutes in? I feel like we don’t know enough.)
Like a schoolgirl, I dribbled about his potential two weeks ago in my Test Season preview writing:
“What is fascinating about O’Connor, beyond his astronomical rugby IQ (it’s Ella-esque), is his control over his body. He gets everything out of It, and then some. His biggest asset is his shoulders. The way he uses them to create separation is unbelievable for someone his age. It’s a skill players usually acquire later in their career when they need to compensate for losing a step. His ability to hit the ball running, dart between tacklers, use his shoulders to free his arms, and offload is second only to Giteau in Australia, and maybe fourth to Carter and Contemponi in the world.”
In the first Italy test he showed his body control when he shedded a front rower with ease to stroll over for his 3rd try, and his positioning and distribution work in the 2nd test proved he has a rugby IQ much higher then most players actual IQ. Apart from his size (otherwise known as “the only thing Adam Ashley-Cooper has over him at the moment”), he is a complete player.
What other profession could you be this complete at 18?
Karmichael Hunt never looked this comfortable on the field at 18. Sonny Bill didn’t even start when the ‘dogs won in 2004. Tennis is too mental for even the physically complete to dominate at a young age. Actors have stage presence but they are usually typecast and don’t have a lot of reach so I wouldn’t call them “complete” (DiCaprio was great in The Basketball Diaries, but he was far from complete). Even porn has a learning curve.
Gymnastics and the Spelling B are the only ones really (Soccer is more early 20’s and even then I wouldn’t say C. Ronaldo is complete. The guy is a head case. A rich head case, but still).
Really, even if you don’t like rugby, you should be impressed by what O’Connor is doing. I’ve seen 28 year old McDonalds employees who aren’t this skilled at their craft. So to deepen our understanding of the situation I thought we should put ourselves in the shoes of the relevant stakeholders:
From the ARU’s Point of View (POV):
They have to lock him up. Whatever he wants, give it too him. At this point a blank checkbook isn’t out of the question. And not only do they have to worry about now, they should be saving for 2011. Right now he is like the 2nd generation iPhone. People who signed 2nd gen contracts should have known the 3rd gen wasn’t far off. They should have been saving to buy out their contracts and upgrade. The ARU need to know he will be asking for top dollar after the 2011 World Cup. I argued in my “Test Season Preview” column that he could be around for FOUR World Cups. That’s unbelievable. The ARU need to keep him happy and clear enough funds to make a run at him in 2011. Giteau will still be relevant then, but he won’t be around in 2015. O’Connor is their future. If there is one sure investment in this economy, it is him. The last thing they need is a Sonny Bill situation.
From the Brumbies POV:
A nice fit, he would go a long way in the forming of a Larkam-Giteau (’02-’05) cover band. They already have Lealiifano so his arrival would hinder his growth, but ultimately the Brumbies would be able to grow a potent attacking outfit. Having him go to work each day with Giteau is like growing weed hydroponically. My only issue is his size. This Brumbies team is built to win now and they can’t afford to chop and change their lineup to hide or rest O’Connor when they face teams with size (i.e. the Hurricanes, Bulls, Sharks, Stormers). I just don’t think they can wait right now for him to develop physically. That money would be better spent on complimentary guys who can give them flexibility off the bench, fill roles, and provide injury and burnout insurance. If he wants to sign and the numbers work they are dumb not too but they can live with out him.
From the Reds POV:
He would be a big piece in their youth movement but they don’t want him, and really, they don’t deserve him (Only this past weekend did the Reds put their name in the hat. Nearly a week AFTER he had the greatest interview in Australian sporting history (the hat-trick on fake-debut). That’s like me strolling over to Ticketek tomorrow and trying to buy tickets to the Melbourne AC/DC concert). The Reds are to Rugby what Hamburg was to the Beatles—a dark irrelevant wasteland where players can hone their skills with little pressure or expectation. O’Connor is way past that. He needs to face quality opposition on a daily basis if he wants to keep improving. Furthermore, he would be too close to where he grew up. The last thing he needs is to deal with all the wants of his “friends” from high school.
The Reds would be fun and his combination with Barnes would be great for the Wallabies, but eventually, like with all drugs (the Reds are like crack cocaine. At least Heroin doesn’t damage your health) they would drag him down and ruin him. Who am I kidding, I wouldn’t sign with the Reds right now. O’Connor’s agent must have laughed when he saw that Queensland area code on his mobile.
From the NRL’s POV:
There is no chance of this happening, but it’s still interesting to look at. His Rugby League roots have been well versed. However, I don’t think he would translate as well as he does in Rugby. I think the work rate in defense would kill him offensively and he wouldn’t have as much of an impact. He has already broken down at times during the Super 14 season, and the League season is three times longer. I think he would get lost in the sea of guys who look and play just like him and ultimately he would lose a lot of money over his career. The NRL don’t need him like rugby does anyway. They have a good farm system and a plethora of young stars already (Is Kevin Locke the Reggie Bush of the NRL?). I feel like he would turn into the next Tim Smith if he went to the NRL. That’s not good for anyone.
From the Force’s POV:
The logical fit. They did what they needed to do (Get a quality 10. Pretorius is a nice role model both-in attitude and style); they have a balanced team (not too young, not too old); Giteau’s contract gives them financial flexibility to sign some good pieces; and they can nurture him through his formative years—he seems comfortable working under Mitchell, a guy who so far he has got the most out of him. Marketing-wise they are set up to position him as the face of their team. Most importantly: he would be living in Western Australia. Does anyone get in trouble there? I feel like there should be two incidents a week. The players are too integrated; the people aren’t used to notoriety; players must get bored because there is nothing to do; they would get angry because they are flying twice as much as every one else. Either they cover up better then the PM or they have a great corporate atmosphere and good character team environment.
From O’connor’s POV:
Let’s see: he is 18, rich, good looking, and he plays for the Wallabies. Does he take the blue pill or the red pill?
For the sake of the Wallabies let’s hope there are no pills. He is the most polarizing sporting figure in the country right now, and no one has written a good feature article about him. This decision will shape him professionally and personally. Who else has to make a decision as heavy as that at 18?
Rugby-wise it makes sense for him to take a cut and play for the Brumbies with the knowledge that he will “get his” when Giteau moves to Europe after his contract expires. Financially it makes sense that he should be in a major market. If there would trades in the Super 14 wouldn’t NSW be insane not to package a deal for him? That’s where he grows his brand equity with the most success. Personal development-wise the Force make the most sense for him; out of the limelight, covered in social bubble wrap, more freedom with his role and time to develop.
So really, I guess it’s a question of gold/blue pill (Do I want to go to the Brumbies, put my body through hell competing at the highest level, and get paid later in my career?), or the purple/ gold pill (Do I want to make money now, play in a low pressure environment with some good character guys, and develop physically for the 2011 World Cup, otherwise known as the “2011 O’Connor Expo”?).
It makes sense for him to re-sign. Like I said, he potentially has another 14 years of Rugby left in him. The way Rugby is growing internationally; I think he ends up in Europe quicker then people think. If he signs with the force, fills out, has a great World Cup showing there will be too much money and opportunity thrown at him from Europe and Japan. I just don’t see how the disorganized and myopic ARU (See: Tahu, Tamana and Sailor, Wendall) is a good place for a guy who greatest selling power lies with the exposure a French or British side gives him.
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I think eventually he moves on and the ARU change their laws on over-seas player selection. It’s inevitable. The All Blacks are already succumbing to this kind of pressure. Carter was going to miss a huge part of the Super 14 season to play in Europe, and NZ Rugby had no choice but to bend over and be fine with that. And in the end they really did get fucked (his injury; hey France, don’t get too excited. You did a good impression of the ’03 English team but Carter would have ripped that backline to pieces.). These guys can make so much more money overseas; anyone with the slightest business sense makes that move.
Just don’t hate him for it.
Brisbane Sports Fan
