What the NSW selections say about the NRL.

This would have gone up earlier but I got AC / DC tickets the morning they came out, and let’s just say, I have played more than the recommended amount of air-guitar in the subsequent hours. Anyway, let’s get to the issue at hand: the new look Blues Origin side.

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(NOTES ON TICKET LINES: A few things I noticed.

1) The ipod has really killed the joy of what I imagined the sanctimonious act of waiting in line for tickets used to be. There was limited line-e interaction, only one guitar present, band attire was down, and there wasn’t one person playing any music. Even the line wasn’t really that long, considering. I was disappointed by the loss of this social rite-of-passage and I’m young! That can’t be good thing.

2) I’m a uni student and I felt depressed about the fact that I had enough time to wait in line for 3 hours on a Monday morning. If I still have this time in another ten years—like the people in front and behind me did—I’m guessing my life didn’t turn out as I had expected.

3) It’s not bad enough that we are buying these tickets almost 9 months in advance. We have to carry around the tickets for those 9 months. Really? I have trouble keeping my DAILY train ticket in one piece for 6 hours a day. The same goes for passports. We can’t have everyone’s on file as well? In this globalised world it’s insane that people literally have to carry around papers to identify themselves.

4) Why don’t marketers and businesses make more of these events? Say you run a drink company or a Krispy-Krème or whatever. Why wouldn’t you show up and hand out food or t-shirts or jumpers or chairs or whatever. Anything with your logo all over it. I had my picture taken several times that day and I wasn’t anywhere near the front. You get props for being socially responsible and its relatively free exposure. What’s to lose?)

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I wrote in a May 6 piece that the NRL had a promising ten years ahead of it, similar to the last decade the NBA experienced: a influx of high character youth, a society more adept to the social stigmas of professionalism in sports, a more professional approach to the game, the eradication of “thug” era players and their immoral ideology. I assure you, the NRL has a good future.

However, like with most detrimental habits, change only occurs when the party hits rock bottom. In “Trainspotting” rock bottom was when the baby died while they were all high. In the NRL, the Cronulla Sharks are that baby. They couldn’t have done anything more to epitomize everything that is wrong with the NRL: the mismanagement, the low moral standard, the disgruntled fan-base, the disingenuous player personnel, the terrible jerseys. The Sharks will crawl across the NRL’s roof continuously until they are replaced.

(Hey Sharks fans, if you haven’t won a premiership after 42 years, you’re too close to the rest of the Sydney teams, your community is best known for cultural “riots”, you destroy the will of any talent that plays for you, and your CEO beats up his assistants—Its time to go.)

The new look line up for the Blues is a small, but positive step in this rehabilitation. It’s akin to Mark Renton getting a suit or moving to London. These selections are somewhat political whether you like it or not. The NRL is sending a message: “You want to get paid? Respect the shield.”

This side is full of good character guys. Guys who—although, wholly unproven—have limited baggage, youthful confidence, a clean slate, and a bright future. They are a marketers dream and just what the NRL needs to change their image.

Sure, they won’t stand much of a chance this year, but they will get the media and the fans talking about the league positively. They can talk about the rise to prominence of Wallace, Campese, and Jennings. They can lament about the longevity and prevalence of serial good guy Kurt Gidley. They can wallow in the literary depths of the NRL’s work to change their moral and ethical ideology. All positive stuff for the media to debate. Its finally a savvy move, oppossed to a sleazy move.

Sport is all about debate. Debate triggers emotion in people and when people are emotional they make irrational decisions: like say, buying a jersey for $150.00 instead of fixing your car, or spending half your weekly paycheck on one night at a game. In reality its all emotional.

Success (24/7 debate) in this industry relies on being at the center of the social conscience at all time. It doesn’t always have to be positive (Whether you like it or not the NRL has on some level benefited from the Matt Johns scandal because it got people talking about the NRL. How many more thousands of people tuned into the Footy Show that week, or watched NRL on FOX or bought a Big League in the successive weeks or went to the NRL website?), but it can’t be too negative all the time.

It can’t be too good all the time either, because it won’t spark emotion. A league needs to find a nice balance that keeps them in the spotlight but doesn’t deter people.

It’s the same reason that, in the long run, celebrities who release sex videos become more popular. When your value (ability to sell) derives from your cultural power, and cultural power derives from your position in the social cognitive, then being on the forefront of all major media in the nation is a good thing.

The NRL’s problem is they provoked a slew of negative debate, and didn’t do anything positive to show they were against what was happening.

In life society judge you less on the action and more on the reaction. The court of public opinion hated the 2004 Bulldogs more because they showed up to the court hearing in thongs and shorts, then because of what apparently transpired. People hate the NRL so much now because of their lack of action after the last couple of scandals.

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(A FEW THOUGHTS ON “STATE OF THE NRL” DEBATE: Sports personalities in Australia are in a unique and I guess, unfortunate position. They are too integrated with society. Media follows them and promotes them with the same veracity and intensity that is common world wide for sports stars and celebrities. The theory being that celebrities are owned by the public and that their privacy is the price they pay for being rich and fortuned. That has logic to it because their value derives from their cultural power. Because of their wealth and notoriety, their lives transcend the lives of “normal” people, and that’s why we find them interesting. That’s the reality for sports stars around the world in these times. I don’t have an issue with that.

In Australia however, the theory doesn’t match the reality.

In Australia, although these guys are treated and afforded the same cultural power as a celebrity, they aren’t in reality, any different from normal people. The majority doesn’t earn a mind blowing amount of money like in other sports, and because they don’t, their lives aren’t really that different; They still go to the same pubs and bars you go to, they still take taxies, they still have to do their own shopping. Simply, they are too integrated into society. There is no social barrier between them and us.

They should be renting private rooms at clubs or being picked up by team personnel or drivers. They should stay in high-end hotels and rent out whole floors. They should have an entourage around them at all times, but they don’t, because they can’t afford it. The teams can’t afford it. And the league can’t afford it. And yet they have the social power of Michael Jordan in Australia.

There is a reason celebrity and wealth go together. It’s necessary. Australia’s media has turned professional but the NRL hasn’t. Britney Spears may get hammered, but she will do it at a private party around people who are in the business and know how to operate around celebrities, and she will have an immense amount of support around her. Whether they work for her or they are friends its still a support group. Entourages aren’t always a bad thing. If she had to go out at the local pub or nightclub it would be a disaster.

I realized this when I saw a certain young prominent Reds player throwing up outside a bar a few weeks ago. He was by himself and completely smashed. There weren’t many people around and after no one he knew came to his aid, a friend of mine asked him if he needed any help. He managed to mumble some slurred dialog before wondering off, staggering from side to side. Literally just wondering by himself at 2am through the streets of Brisbane city, with people yelling stuff at him or high-fiving him as they walked by.

He was no different then me, except everyone wanted a piece of him. I’m guessing he got free drinks all night and probably a few numbers he wouldn’t have if he wasn’t who he was. His head would be inflated and he probably hits on every girl he comes across. I mean, I would. But he also deals with every loser guy who wants to make a name for himself or every girl who wants bragging rights or whatever. You just can’t give a 20 year old cultural power and free time but no supervision.

Also, on top of all of this, we have to remember how dumb these guys are. They need to be over regulated at all times. Its what they thrive on, it’s the reason they are good at what they do, they love rules and repetition. So stop pretending they are like us NRL. Be professional.)

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Back to the NSW’s team…

This new look, new attitude, clean slate NSW team is a positive and proactive reaction to what’s transpired in the last decade. It’s the first forward-thinking move the NRL has made in some time and I hope its nothing compared to what they have in the future. The NRL aren’t a giant RSL, they are a Business and in business if you aren’t going forward, if you are standing still—you are going backward.

(NOTE TO BLUES FANS: There is no way they compete with the QLD backline: Gidley gets too tight on the Origin stage; Hayne is an aerial threat but not enough of a difference; Jennings is talented but he can’t handle Hodges or Inglis. Namely because no one can; Lyon is their best player and he couldn’t make the QLD side; Campese has been a nice story this year but Thurston will shred him faster then Angus Young in his prime; McManus, I will believe when I see him do it in a sky blue jersey; and Wallace, he is still too young and inconsistent when hitting 5th gear.)

Brisbane Sports Fan

Losing My Comment Virginity.

From Berko of Fan Chronicle comments section - “I think you drastically exaggerate the 'death' of Lockyer. Do you think this side performs better with any other 6 from the competition? I doubt it very much. And that is even without considering the intangibles that his presence alone brings to the side. Ask the players if you doubt me.

And your assessment of the World Cup final must have been based on defence only. With ball in hand he was CLEARLY the best player on the field. He was responsible for everything that the Aussies produced in attack. And it was a remarkable performance behind what I considered to be a handily beaten forward pack on the night.”

Finally, after hitting that magical 50 visits mark, I got my first inquisitory comment. This is like when a rookie gets a full season under his belt and suddenly he’s accountable. Either way, I’m glad I lost my comment virginity to somebody who made some good points.

You’re right, I was a little harsh on The Captain, and no, I wouldn’t exchange him for any other 6 in the league. There has been some miscommunication because I didn’t contextualise this argument. Let me state: Lockyer is still the best 6 in the league. Period.

I made the case in my “Threesomes are awkward, even at the Origin level” peice that he should have been selected for the Australian team over Scott Prince, and I believe offensivley, he is still intuitivly superior to anybody else in the league.

I said that he still hits 4th gear consistently, and that he still has some 5th gear performances in him. Remember—and I should have said something about this—his 4th gear is better then anyone elses. My argument centered around his performance decline relative to what HE is capable of.

Most of it is simple wear and tear. The guy is 32 and has 380 plus games under his belt, including 29 Origin matches. At some point you just break down, and I think that is what we have begun to see since the World Cup last year. His physical deterioration is hindering what does on both ends. And that’s why I nitpicked his defence. Its where the physical deterioration is most clearly exposed. It’s like in CSI when they run a black light over a rape victims bedsheets—everything is exposed.

The truth is he has been terrible in defence this year. He gets beaten on the inside far too easily these days. Anybody with a good step, or a team who runs quick switches can expose him. A big part of it is the loss of Tonie Carroll, but I think most of it is his body. He just can’t catch up; like I said, he’s lost a step.

(I also made the point that Thaiday has to step into that Carrol “enforcer” role. These guys should love playing with him. He lives to make them better. GIVE HIM SOME PROTECTION!!!)

As for his intangibles, you’re singing to the choir. But you're right, I should have made more of that. He is a true leader and his on field direction can’t be underestimated. Who wouldn’t want to play with him.

I pointed out in my April 21st piece that he can continue to play on because he is a facilitator with a lot of talent around him and he wont have to engage in a high volume of contact, but I think this will be his last really good year. I believe Origin is going to have a serious tole on him this year, and it could be his last series.

I was trying to be overtly objective and disregard my man-crush love of Lockyer. I should have spent more time on him. After all The Captain deserves better. Thanks for keeping me in check with some good questions, spread the word, keep the questions coming, and if nothing else, keep reading.

Brisbane Sports Fan

An epic objective look at the 2009 Broncos

First of all, I would like to apologise for my absence in these past few weeks. I had to go into hiding after it was revealed I was involved in a ice-cream eating orgy with some friends back in 2002. As you probably have heard, one night on a trip to my local New Zealand Natural ice-creamery, a girl gave me her ice-cream and I … (fighting back fake tears) … proceeded to eat it with all my friends. I apologise to the girl and her family for my actions. All I can say is … (more fake shaking of my bottom lip) … it, it was CONSENSUAL!!!

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So since Channel Nine can show enough corporate governance to destroy their own brand by exposing the deviant acts of their franchise guy (Mat Johns), it’s time for me as a fan to operate some sort of fan governance and objectively review my favourite team: the Broncos.
9 rounds in, sitting in 3rd place, 0 sexual assaults, rep players running on fumes, Lockyer controversy; the Broncos are having a typical Bronco season.

You figure they will finish in the 3 to 6 spot and depending on the matchups, make a short to medium run in the playoffs. It’s as predictable as an awkward pity-laugh from a Rove audience or booing of the Prime minister at a trophy presentation.

And yet, this year is different. The 2009 Broncos have a lot of quiet flaws they haven’t had in years.

For those of you who need it explained in Adam Sandler references: They are Happy Gilomore right after Chubbs dies (the loss of Illa’Wayne). They are still getting by on their unique but flaky advantage (their extremely talented offence but terrible defence). They spend all day dreading a “VOLKSWAGEN!” moment down the road (the complete breakdown and exposure of a weak left side defence, the complete exploitation of Folau’s terrible defensive decision making, and the complete exploitation of a weak bench).

They dread fate providing them with that one last giant obstacle; the fallen T.V. tower on the 18th (an extremely unfavourable matchup with the Dragons in the playoffs—This is the worst case scenario for the Broncos. The Dragons already own them psychologically and Illa’Wayne destroys every team that he has had close experience working with. There is no one better at exploiting player’s weaknesses. See, World Cup Final; the Cowboys because of Origin).

I told you. I tells ya! It ‘aint pretty. The only difference is they don’t have a “happy place”, and their hockey stick putter is broken in half (That would be Lockyer. He is done. No commentator seems to want to admit but he is dead on both ends. He couldn’t tackle Wally Lewis statue at this point. Offensively, Matt Johns has a better chance being hired as the face of David Jones then Lockyer has of reaching 4th gear. I will now jump of the William Jolly Bridge).

Lets breakdown the team:

1. Karmichael Hunt: Has really matured into a smart player ... on the field, at least. He added a innovative stutter-step to his repertoire in the offseason, he isn’t as reckless with his body, and his percentage of bad haircuts and racing stripes seems to have dropped—always a indicator of a guy maturing.
   Most importantly though, he seems to pick his spots better this year in terms of when he decides to come in and out of the line offensively. This is always a major tipping point for fullbacks; Lockyer found that balance in the 1999 to 2000 range and subsequently, he found that 6th gear which made him an elite player for the better part of the decade.
   Hunt is—or was—being groomed to follow in Lockyer’s footsteps and move from 1 to 6 but with the state of the Broncos cap, th success of players coming through the farm system, the Happy Gilmore-like rise from obscurity of Peter Wallace, and the offers Hunt is reportedly entertaining, I can’t see a commodity like him signing anything long term.
2. Antonio Winterstein: A K A. Chocolate ICE. Having Winterstein on your team is like dating a really dumb hot chick.
   She has a killer body (speed, youth, length, aerial finesse. His immeasurable locker room value: he always gives 100% when the team cuddle or high-five after a score; I imagine he laughs at all the veterans jokes, and spends hours reciting lines and scenes from Bro-Town with Folau and Hunt; he raises the teams syllable average considerably; and if nothing else, he completes the super-athletic look of the Broncs backline. He is the perfect Team Sully.)
   She puts out more than you ever expected (Choc ICE is an offensive nightmare for teams with weak fringes).
   But when it comes down to it, the sexual part of the relationship only really takes up 10% of your time together. The other 90% you actually have to spend time with the girl and engage in conversation (defense; put it this way, Jamie Lyon enjoyed having Winterstein mark him as much as Marsellus Wallace enjoyed putting that shotgun round into Zed’s groin). There is no return on anything you say—she answers every question with a question, or a ditsy-laugh, or some sort of airy agreement. Long term, you don’t marry that girl.
   The playoffs seem to maximise team’s weaknesses and I can see that left side defence killing the Broncos season.
3. Steve Michaels: The Brick Tamland of the Broncos morning news team. He doesn’t ever do or say much, he is just there. I once referred to him as Steve “White men can’t jump” Michaels because of the way the opposition NOTICEABLY were repeatedly abusing him with highballs ... and that was in a game where the Broncos won by 32. I’m going to say that’s not a good thing.
4. Justin Hodges: I feel like he has played his entire career in 3rd gear. Despite holding the records for most personal issues dealt with, most bone-headed unforced errors, and most wasted tackles by walking out of dummy-half, stopping after three steps, and attempting to palm off the entire other team, Hodges has turned into a quality veteran. He still has all the time in the world when he has the ball in his hands, he can still beat defenders off the dribble (I want to steal that term from basketball for when a guy beats his man one-on-one), and he doesn’t panic. He single handily delayed the decline of Lockyer over the last few season by providing him with a quality option in final minutes of games. Down by 4 with 30 seconds to play and attacking an oppositions try line, Hodges is best closer in the game right now ... which brings me to ...
5. Israel Folau: What happens to this guy in the last quarter of games? Maybe its a game planning thing, maybe it’s something to do with the fact that he is only 20, maybe he didn’t do all his prayers, maybe he isn’t used to the situation because he has won every athletic encounter he has had since he was 6. Whatever it is, his disappearing act is getting old. The guy literally averages a try a game in the regular season. That’s like averaging a triple double in the NBA. THE OFFENCE SHOULD RUN THROUGH HIM!!! He should be playing more at centre, it’s not like they can’t move him to the wing on 4th and 5th tackles for when they want to kick.
   And with all that said, I wouldn’t trade him or his terrible defence for anyone in the league. He is a bona-fide super-duper star. I’m like him so much I may have to convert to Judaism.
6. Darren Lockyer: Now this is sad. It’s like watching a pet get old. Since I can remember I have spent every weekend with this guy. I watched him grow, I watched him succeed, I watched him forget how to place kick, I watched him go bald, I watched him transition flawlessly from fullback to five-eight and into the captain role. But the fact is, el capa-tan is done. We saw it in the World Cup final last year, and it’s got worse as this season has dragged on. He disappears for long stretches, he’s lost a step, he doesn’t go anywhere near the line when attacking (which is why the Broncs 2nd man plays aren’t working so well this year), and he shy’s away from those signature run-the-ball plays on 5th tackle. But worst of all, the guy has lost all lateral movement, especially when he is heading to his right. I knew they were going to build a statue of him when he retired but I didn’t think they would put it on the field. I figure this is the last year we will see him hit 4th gear with any consistency, and I hope to god he saves the few 5th gear performances he has left for the right times. Like I said, this team has some HUGE flaws.
7. Peter Wallace: And just when I was starting to tear up about Lockyer, I remember Peter Wallace. I love this guy ... wait, no ... I LOVE THIS GUY!!! He is like Wolfmother’s cover of “Communication Breakdown” at the Led Zeppelin Hall of Fame induction, not as good as the original (Lockyer) but as close as you could ever hope to see. He hasn’t been as assertive as I hoped he would be this year, but he is young and he could be struggling to find his place in a side where the franchise guy is fading. He probably should have the ball in his hands more, but he doesn’t want to upstage Lockyer. I never thought having the NSW 7 and the QLD 6 playing in one side would be a bad thing but apparently it is when they are at opposite ends of the career arc.
   The other issue is, he kills any enjoyment I will have watching this QLD backline kill the NSW team for the next decade. I can see myself spending the entire 80 minutes doing my best impression of Turkish and Tommy—just hoping he makes it to the forth.
8. Nick Kenny: Besides having two first names, there isn’t much subtext to this guy. He is a quality body who understands his role, eats minutes and tackles, and still has room for improvement. He is the “Their Satanic Majesties Request” to David Staggs “Sgt. Peppers”.
9. Andrew Mccullough/PJ Marsh: I’ll admit I was excited about the signing of Marsh. It was almost too logical: a smart, proven, role playing vet you could be the difference in 2 to 3 games a year. He would push this team over the edge. How could this fail? How DID this fail? So far this season he has been so flat I’ve started confusing him with Stan Marsh.
   God forbid this league has trades!! We could of traded Taylor to Souths for Issac Luke or an aging Craig Wing. The Broncos get compensated for putting Taylor through high school and making him the player he is today, and Wing gets to finish his NRL career with a great chance of winning another championship. How is the league not better off with that scenario? Instead, I have to be content with Andrew McSomebody, who appears to have less chemistry with Lockyer and Wallace then the anchors for Fox Sports News have with each other.
10. Joel Clinton: Gets my vote for guy most likely to be starring in the next “what ever happened to that guy?” series. Is he alive? Has anyone looked meaner and produced less? Is he secretly training to be a wrestler? My theory is he has been unconscious since that left shoulder hit Sonny-Bill put on him a few years ago. The one they used to always show where his head jars backward and his hair and sweat explode everywhere. Hey, when you can let go a test front rower for a guy who is best remembered for running into someone’s shoulder, you got to do it. God forbid the league has an appropriate salary cap exemption for veteran players. R.I.P. Petero.
11. Sam Thaiday: I love everything about this guy: I love the way he runs; I love the way his head flails around during heavy contact; I love the way he eats minutes; I love that he consistently gets away with flopping; I love the way he awkwardly tries to drink when he is on the sideline stationary bike, like he is cruising in the lead of the tour de France; I love the idea of him and Palmer Wapau forming a “Bash Brothers” like enforcer duo; I love the fact that Wikipedia lists the Mighty Ducks characters in roster form, as if they were actual team; but most of all, I love the feeling of watching him play. It’s what I imagine rooting weekly for Roy Asotasi is like. He just rampages and is so solid he never gets injured. Its fun as a fan because you always feel comfortable when he is on the field.
    I have three recommendations for him though. 1) He should mix up the hair a bit. Maybe go for the throwback short cut with tape, like Arti Beetson. How would a opposition not be intimidated by that. 2) Bring back the chalk on the sidelines. Even if he washes it off before he plays, just him doing the LeBron “chuck up in the air” thing would be cool. 3) He needs to be more of a presence when teams are targeting our halves or being over-aggressive in the rucks. Someone has to adopt that Toni Carrol role, and I think he is the perfect fit.
12. Ashton Sims: See Kenny, Nick.
13. Corey Parker: Wow, has this guy salvaged his career. It seems like only yesterday he was on his way out. But as things go, they couldn’t let him go because he was the only consistent kicker they had and subsequently since, he has evolved into a solid striker. Now he is a veteran presence and a real commodity. Its like having a defensive 7 footer in basketball who happens to be a knockdown 3-point shooter. He should be the most sought after player in the league, but no one seems to notice. This guy should be leveraging his talents for millions. Furthermore, has anyone looked less like an atypical person called Corey and still been this successful in any field? Can you think of anyone?
14. Aaron Gorrell: His name sounds like one of those NFL draft prospects who plays safety and you never see but are on every guys mock draft going late in the 2nd round. For more see Sims, Ashton.
15. Palmer Wapau: Although I would rather have David Taylor, and nobody has explained why he is debuting at 27 or what he has been doing for the past 8 years—I love the potential of this guy. First of all he has two last names. Second, he is loved by everybody who has ever met him, and apparently, a great locker room guy. Third, he is so mysterious towards the media; I imagine he is like Chief Bromden in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, if the media were the mental institution. Finally, I love his facial hair—especially in HD, it has so much potential. Right now he has Samuel L. Jackson’s Fu Manchu from ”SHAFT”. I think he should imitate all of Sam Jackson’s movie characters: the weird hippy goatee from “Jackie Brown” , the bald look from “Star Wars”, the bearded professor look from “Deep Blue Sea”, the crew cut from “Rules of Engagement”, the “It’s business time” cop moustache from “SWAT”, the crazy grey-old-man-blues mutton chops from “Black Snake Moan”, and the greatest of all time—the perm, sideburns, and Fu Manchu from “Pulp Fiction”. How is any of those worse than the Ronaldo patch (circa 2002) that Nathan Merritt has on his head right now?
16. Josh McGuire: Ditto.
17. Alex Glenn: Despite having the name most likely to be confused with one of the cheerleaders, Glenn is a great bench guy who devours minutes and tackles and has the ability to create on the offensive side of the ball. I think he has sizeable upside and I expect him to be a big part of the future of the club. At this point in his career he is best suited coming off the bench. I really like him going forward. (Me: most likely to start fan club for Alex Glenn).
    

Well I can’t believe I got through that alive. I told you the Broncos are full of holes. Everyone is either too old or too young, and they’re all worn out. They are like a GP’s office on a Monday morning.

Their offense will take them into the playoffs, maybe even to a preliminary final, but I have to think their defense will let them down at some point. I just don’t see them winning when they have to go through at least two of the following: Bulldogs, Dragons, Storm, Manly (they are going to get stronger as the year goes on).

I can hope, but all the signs … (fighting back fake tears) … they don’t look good.

Brisbane Sports Fan

Headlines...."ahhh... the serenity"

04/04/09 - From the Associated Press, ESPN.com - LeBron James became the seventh player since the ABA-NBA merger in 1976 to earn rookie of the year and MVP honors in a career…"I'm 24 years old and I'm receiving this award, I never thought it would happen this fast," he said, standing under three state title banners he helped win for the Fighting Irish. "I never dreamed about being MVP, but if I said I didn't enjoy this award I'd be lying. Hard work pays off and dreams do come true."

The more I learn about the NBA, the more I learn about the NRL.

When you think about it, basketball and rugby league are quietly similar: they are both built on end to end action and lots of scoring; they both rely on team play for a team to compete, but are decided by individuals; their players are bigger then life characters who, because of their backgrounds, reflect society and, because of their notoriety and wealth, transcend it at the same time; officiating determines the speed, quality, and flow of the game; they are both pop-culture epicenters; and MOST EXPLICITLY, they both have struggled because of a perceived thug image.

All though they seem to have nothing in common, structurally, they are identical.

They are like … I just spent 10 minutes trying to think of a better comparison then apples and oranges … and I did: they are like porn and music—structurally similar in that they are: great in the moment, better live, easily overplayed, individualistic in terms of tastes, controversial, date easily, original in their heydays (60s and 70s) but now repetitive and formula based, and liked to some degree by everyone.

The way I see it, the Aussie sporting landscape mirrors the American, only its ten years behind culturally, and thirty years behind financially.

Follow me here: the AFL is the NFL, best run league with the most passionate fans and the strongest cultural presence in the nation; the A-League is the MLB, a sport everyone remembers playing when they were young but not really relevant with the key demographic; the NRL is the NBA, huge in some areas, culturally powerful but not always in the good way, should be more popular but always seems to get bad breaks, and it struggles to market a increasingly black dominated sport to a wholly white audience; the Super 14 is the NHL, it used to be popular but the nature of the game and viewing experience on TV has killed the majority of its appeal, still internationally popular; and the ANZ Championship is the NIT.

So if we are to believe that the Australian sports industry will someday grow into a pseudo-replica of the multi-billion dollar cultural institution that is the American sports industry, then wouldn’t the sports leagues evolve and grow in a similar fashion?

If we assume this, then the NRL is in a similar place to where the NBA was in ’99-’00. The last ten years were some of their best (NBA: Jordan’s best years, the Dream Team; NRL: great grand finals in ’99, ’01,’03,’04,’05, a 4 to 6 series split in the State of Origin, dominance by the Kangaroos), and at the same time some of their worst (NBA: the '98 lockout, narcissistic players, explosion of money, drugs, and a thug image; NRL: Gasnier’s txt messages, the Bulldog rape scandal, the Bulldog salary cap scandal, the new “threat” proposed by rugby union money, a prevalent binge-drinking culture).

Now however, they are on the verge of a new decade and a new attitude.

They have some young stars in the early parts of their career who are just starting to establish themselves (NBA: Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal, Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, Allen Iverson; NRL: Inglis, Folau, Slater, Hunt, Peter Wallace, Jamie Soward), an assortment of All-Time stars who retired or are on their last legs (NBA: David Robinson, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippin, Reggie Miller, Gary Payton, Charles Barkley; NRL: Fittler, Sattler, Tallis, Johns, Webke, Steve Menzies, Lockyer), and they worked out how to promote themselves (NBA: Jordan transcended the sport and pushed it into the international mainstream, shorts below the knees became popular, the loss of the afro; NRL: the Johns brothers and Wendall Sailor transcended the sport, shorts above the knees are now popular, haircuts with the racing stripe).

I told you they are the same. To put it in terms of apples and oranges: think the Sgt Peppers Album and a Jenna Jamison film—culturally transcending, pioneering for their time, and they never get old, yet they are always better if you forget about them for a while. Structurally the same.

The great thing for the NRL is the next ten years should be full of bliss and good fortune the same way ’01 to ’09 have been for the NBA.

Disregarding the Artest melee, things have been great for the NBA this past decade: huge growth in Asia and Europe; a flurry of international talent; the restoration of classic rivalries; two legit dynasties; and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, a influx of classy, talented, highly marketable, socially aware and responsible young stars—namely, the ’04 and ’05 draft classes.

They (LeBron, Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard) are a product of growing up watching the success of professional, good character, responsible, stars (Kobe, Shaq, Duncan, Billups) and the failure of showy, selfish, bad character, stars (Iverson, Carter, Marbury).

The NRL has those, professional, good character, responsible stars in place right now (Folau, Wallace, Soward, Stagg, Jennings, Inglis), and they are experiencing success and fortune. So in theory, the next crop of players -- who are closer to the pro-athletes then ever before and more in tune with professionalism now because of the Toyota Cup – should be great character guys.

You can see the seedling of this phenomenon in the likes of David Taylor and Justin Carney.

LeBron’s crowning as the NBA’s MVP is the ultimate personification of this evolution in league culture and attitude. I don’t know how it will be symbolised in the NRL in 2019 but if my absurd theory is right, the NRL can look forward to a “We’re going to Bonnie Doon” level of bliss over the next ten years.

Brisbane Sports Fan